It's only through words that conflicts begin. It's only through words that people have fun, and it's only through words that people gain wealth. So, words should be used sparingly.
Usually when people have misunderstandings, they say, “Let's talk it out", but that ‘talk it out" doesn't work at all. So, we should never "talk it out". Instead, we should just move on. Don't sit and discuss the past, and don't ask for explanations about the past. When a mistake happens, it happens and that's it. You should just forget it, and move on. Just imagine yourself in that position. Suppose you made a mistake, and someone keeps on asking you for an explanation for it. It is such a burden to explain something to others, or to justify yourself, isn’t it?
Never make a person feel guilty. When you do that, they cease to be your friend deep inside, and the friendship, tie, and bond become weak. There is a skill in making a person aware of his/her mistake without making him/her feel guilty. But, the normal tendency of humans is to make people feel guilty about their mistakes, and rejoice in it! We have to rise above this normal tendency and not make someone feel guilty. Only then will our relationship be long-standing.
There's a secret for men, and another one for women that I will share with you.
A lady should never step on the ego of her man. The whole world may tell the gentleman that he has no brains, but his wife should never say this. She should always say, “You're the most intelligent person on the planet!” She should always pump his ego. If she says to him, “You're good-for-nothing; you’re a vegetable”, then, he will really become one.
Now, a secret for men. They should never step on the emotion of a woman. She may complain to you about her brother, father, mother, or any member of her family, but you should not join in. The moment you start nodding along with her complaints, she will turn 180°, and, instead of dwelling on her complaints against them, she will complain about you!
And, if she wants to go for some religious program, say a ‘yatra’ maybe, or a movie, or for shopping, you should just agree with her, and give her your credit card!
A suggestion to both of you: Don't ask for proof of each other’s love. Never burden someone by asking them to prove their love for you. If you find that their love for you is less, you should say, “Why do you love me so much?” instead of asking, "You don't love me?”
This is a transcript from a talk by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. You can watch more talks on The Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar youtube channel. Subscribe today!
