By Denise Everheart
Moms everywhere know stress all too well. Make being a stressed mom a thing of the past and be the best Mom possible with these real-life tips.
If you Google 'stressed mom’ you will see a whole list of articles describing the signs of being a stressed mom. REALLY? Nobody needs to tell a mom whether or not they are stressed let alone what constitutes being stressed! Am I right?!?
What do stressed moms need? They need fast and effective ways to reduce stress! Wouldn’t you agree?
But why is being stressed so bad for us?
HelpGuide.org explains it well: When you feel threatened, your nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, which rouse the body for emergency action. Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and stamina, speed up your reaction time, and enhance your focus—preparing you to either fight or flee from the danger at hand.
Some of this doesn’t sound too bad but…”preparing you to fight or flee”! How can we parent well in either state? We cannot.
Parenting isn’t for Sissies
We have all heard that growing old isn’t for sissies. But before old age challenges come, all the challenges aka stresses of being a parent are all but too real. “Mom stress” comes in many forms- not enough time to do what needs doing, not enough sleep therefore not enough energy, juggling schedules, worries about the health, education, and well-being of your children, and the list goes on...
What we sometimes forget is that being a good mom starts with self-care. The Oxygen Mask Rule: “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others” is vital to apply to our everyday life if we are to be the most capable mom we can be.
So stressed moms everywhere, let’s prioritize taking care of ourselves and kiss stress goodbye! Adios, bon voyage, sayonara, arrivederci and shalom!
Here are 7 plus ideas where you can get stress relief now.
Sleep priorities
After giving birth, new moms are often encouraged to sleep when their baby sleeps. And some of us managed to do that to some degree. But our need for good quality sleep doesn’t go away once our child is a toddler or even a teenager! In fact, sleep issues in America are at an all-time high.
Read Sleep Solutions to Help You Rest Well and Face the Day: A to Zzz for 26 sleep tips!
Permission to Pardon Yourself
As mothers we are especially good at pardoning the mistakes our children make, even our husband, friends and family generally receive regular pardons for their mistakes. But do we pardon ourselves for not being a perfect mother let alone any ‘one’ mistake? When we do not pardon ourselves we are simply adding another level of stress on top of everything else.
Giving ourselves a pardon, allowing for some imperfection helps to reduce our stress level. Give yourself a break!
It Takes Village
This familiar African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” has not been easy to implement in current times. Asking for help is a bigger ordeal when families are spread out across the country and we don’t want to burden our friends. But if you try to be all things for your child and live in a vacuum you are not doing yourself or your children any favors. Unrealistic, isn’t it?
There are creative ways we can access support, like joining parenting groups online or in person. Fellow busy moms are a surprising resource for each other, and they understand better than anyone else what you are going through!
The Family that Cooks Together
I know, I know! You might be imagining what it would look like to have your kids in the kitchen preparing and making a meal together. A royal mess! Yes, it might be faster and easier to ‘just do it yourself’ but I would say that the family that cooks together has less stress! Children learn what it takes to create a meal and since they have some ownership in the process they are more likely to eat what is put on the table with less fuss. And of course, have the family help with cleaning up that ‘royal mess’! Young children and teens alike will learn an added sense of responsibility even if it means you might have to re-wipe down the counters or re-wash a pot.
Humor
I cannot overemphasize the importance of laughter! According to the Mayo Clinic, the stress relief you get from laughter is no joke! LOL! If you have lost your ability to laugh, skip ahead to the end of this article to read about SKY Breath Meditation. It will bring back your smile and your ability to laugh in no time!
Healthier Unwinding
At the end of the day, we naturally feel the need to unwind. Take a moment to think about how you unwind. Does it serve as an effective way to deal with the stress of the day? It isn’t that playing ‘Words with Friends’ on our phone or scrolling through Facebook and Instagram are necessarily all that bad for us (unless it is interfering with our sleep), but is it the most effective and healthiest way to unwind? Whatever method you use, evaluate to see if it is the best for you or just a go-to that is more habit than benefit.
Time Out for Mommy
An overwhelmed mom needs a time out, no doubt! You might even tell your child that mommy is gonna take a time out. Not only will they see the value of a time-out for themselves, but they will also see the human side of their favorite superhero! Even a few minutes to take a breather can help transition you to a less stressful state.
Read on to learn the most effective ways to unwind while taking a time-out!
Ayurveda, Breathwork, Meditation, and Yoga
Now, for the fastest and most effective stress management tools, you could ever want!
Abhyanga. This Ayurvedic ‘ do-it-your-self massage’ where you use an oil specific to your dosha type, massaging from the head to the feet prior to showering. I think you will agree that the bathroom in your home is sometimes the best sanctuary for some time to yourself. Read how to incorporate this ancient self-care tool into your daily life by reading Abhyanga: The Benefits of Adding Ayurveda Self-Massage to Your Self Love Routine.
Straw Breath and Silly Straw Breath. I love these two breathwork tools and use them all the time. Straw breath is so easy to do, even with eyes open! Simply take a deep breath in through the nose and slowly exhale out through your mouth as if there is an invisible straw in your mouth. This breathing exercise is great for lowering blood pressure in the moment (not a substitute for medication) and reducing anxiety quickly. Have a few minutes, close your eyes and take your attention from your feet to the top of your head as you breathe in, and as you exhale out the invisible straw let your attention drift back through the body to your feet. Just a few times of doing this and you will be able to handle what stress is currently happening. If you and your child are feeling stressed do straw breath together but make the exhalation the longest and silliest ‘raspberry’ breath (breathing out keep your lips loose so they flap). You will both be feeling better and probably laughing in no time!
Morning Meditation. Every mom knows the silence that permeates before everyone is awake! Take advantage of that time, even if it means setting an alarm a little earlier (hopefully something melodic), and take advantage of the best ‘me time’ available. Doing a morning meditation will start your day right. Don’t have a meditation practice? Try The Top 22 Online Guided Meditations for Stress, Anger, Sleep, and More.
Silent Retreat. If you love peace and quiet and want the best weekend vacation ever, a Silent Retreat is just the ticket! You don’t even have to leave home now as they are currently offered online! I make a plan to attend one twice a year! In fact, when my daughter was young she knew when I needed to do another, she would say, “Mom, I think it is time for you to go do another retreat”. I always came back feeling so refreshed that I was undoubtedly a better mother.
Yoga Nidra a.k.a yogic power nap is another go-to tool. It takes about 20 minutes, though once I learned how to do it myself I could do 10 minutes and still get an energy boost. Here is a simple guided version. Enjoy!
The Ultimate Mental Health Tool
If you are looking for more than a temporary quick fix you should try SKY Breath Meditation! This science-backed breathing meditation technique is proven to reduce serum cortisol (stress hormone) levels by 78%! SKY also significantly decreases both clinical and non-clinical depression and anxiety. Furthermore, SKY also reduces PTSD and addictive behaviors! This stuff is the real deal!
SKY Mom Testimonials
Even after many friends telling me how much work a new baby brings, I never really understood it until I had my son!! Sleepless nights, endless feedings, loads to do, and the after-effects of delivery, all would have been a nightmare if I did not have SKY to take care of my mind. It energizes me and gives me so much confidence to do whatever I am supposed to do as a mom. I also notice that there is a direct connection between how I feel and how my baby feels and when I am happy and energetic, the same energy gets reflected from him!
Anumeha S.
Account Executive, Bonita Pharmaceuticals, Mom to Koustubh, 7 months
Kids naturally live in the moment, but as a busy working mom, I can find my mind scattered in a hundred different directions. SKY is a lifesaver for stilling my mind and easing me back into the present moment. When I spend time with my daughter in that state it’s such a gift. There is so much ease and connection between us. She doesn’t act out to try to get my attention. In fact, I find it makes our whole family more happy and harmonious when I invest time practicing SKY.
Sarah Y.
Web Designer, Mom to Leela, 4
11 years ago I was a mom on the brink of unraveling at the seams. I had two kids that were 22 months apart under the age of 5. I had also gone back to teaching Pilates full time, so my days were spent taking care of everyone but myself.
There were days I would curl up in a ball on the laundry room floor (this was the only place I could be alone) and just cry from exhaustion and an empty feeling of hopelessness.
After taking the SKY breathing I was able to let go of a lot of emotions that I was holding onto and find deep rest which I desperately needed. I had finally found a tool that I could manage my emotions and stress, even if the world around me was crazy.
Over this past year being quarantined during COVID with my kids and transitioning to working online, the ONE thing that kept me calm and actually quite happy was my SKY practice.
Cindy M.
Pilates Instructor, Mom to Sienna, 14 and Aidan, 12
SKY Breath Meditation has changed my life! It has made all the difference in being able to better communicate with my children and husband, as well as in dealing with technology challenges with homeschooling and starting a business during the recent lockdowns.
Sonia K.
CPA, and founder of Veda by Sonia, Mom to Rhea, 16 and Sophia, 8
Interested in knowing more about SKY Breath Meditation? I’m thrilled to invite you to a free introductory session, Beyond Breath. In just over an hour you will experience a relaxing guided meditation and learn a breathwork nicknamed ‘yogic cappuccino’! Time to shift from a stressed mom to a new and improved mom. By the way, SKY works for dads too!
You may also like to read What is Breathwork? And Can It Help You Up Your Homeschooling Game?
Denise Everheart is a freelance writer, life-long meditator, SKY Breath Meditation instructor, party planner, veg chef, and recipe designer. Follow her @everheartstudio4meditation and @celeplateyourlife on Instagram.
